i was talking to a friend on a server and she said it was out is it?

The 1.0 version of the game is out, yes.
However, our server is still running the 1.8.1 update. If you wish to be able to play on the server, don't update your client. (Click the "Not Now" button.)

Once Bukkit brings out an update, we'll be able to update the server to the full release. We don't know when that will be, so it's no use asking.

1.0 is on the server now.